Herbie the Horny

herbie

So the hub and I finally got the new tank set up for the Bearded Dragons this weekend. Herbie, my large 8 month old male, was just too cooped up in his 20-gallon set-up, and I bought the 40-gallon breeder tank some time ago, so it was time to get busy. Fiona, my smaller, tail-less 5 month old female, was also ready for some more room. Since I've been planning on breeding the Beardies, I thought it was perhaps a good time to move them in together. I was wrong.
Now, I've introduced them several times--they're not strangers by any stretch. They've been outside together, running around in the clover and basking in the natural sunlight; they've taken baths together in the tub; they've been held simultaneously numerous times, all of us hanging out and watching tv together. Most often, Herbie will do a little head-bobbing display and they'll lick-smell each other. Fiona sometimes will crawl on top of Herbie and perch on his head, and, so long as her toenails don't get in his eyes, he seems unbothered. From all accounts of my studies, Herbie is at the age (and Fiona is at the size) that they would now be compatible without worrying about biting or fighting. Apparently that wasn't what I needed to be worrying about at all.
The tank is clean, the lights are set up, and the stand is in place. The hub filled the tank with about 60 lbs of fresh sand, and I got a nice little rock display set up to give them their basking spot and a hiding place. Clean water bowl, a nice dish of greens, and I'm thinking all is right for move-in day. Fiona in first. She's still somewhat smaller, and I didn't want Herbie to get the idea that the new territory is his by putting him in first. She's adorable. Running around, making tracks in the sand, and climbing all over the rocks. As I mentioned earlier, she doesn't have a tail. Call it a "hatch-defect," if you will. Before she was even removed from the incubator, one of her clutch-mates bit her tail off, right at the joining to the body. She doesn't have a tail, but a butt instead. It's just a little round ending to her body--I'd say even less booty than what's popular nowadays. The perpetual lover of any underdog, I'm always inclined to love what others might see as defective. It's just my nature, I suppose.
Anyway, Fi is making herself at home, so we decided to add the Herbish. He paddles around a bit, feeling the new sand between his clawed toes, and then he sees her.
Bob-bob-bob-bob, he's waving his head up and down, trying to get attention. His normally buff-colored beard goes BLACK.
Before I even realized fully what was happening, Herbie had Fiona in the corner of the tank, holding her neck with his mouth and trying to mount. Okay, so I didn't initially realize this is what was going on. I thought, he's being aggressive, he's attacking, trying to fight. Not so. After smacking him with a ruler (and getting no response), I reached in and pulled him off of her. Only to find------his PENIS, fully exposed.
Normally, a lizard's junk is tucked up inside his body, so this was quite a disturbing note. He's wriggling and getting crazy, trying to get back to what he was doing. I'm not sure what I expected from the whole thing, but I guess since Fiona is still about 6 months away from being sexually mature (and technically it's a little early for Herbie), it didn't cross my mind that he would go for the gold. Apparently my lizard is a pedophile.
I suppose that after all, the tank is called a 40-gallon "breeder."