The Tears are Gone

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole.
Just like a faucet that leaks, and there is comfort in the sound.
But while you debate half empty or half full,
It slowly rises; your love is gonna drown.
                                                                      ~Death Cab for Cutie

Why does the perfect sad song to describe your situation always seem to play when you're most vulnerable? I love the newest Death Cab for Cutie Album, Plans, and I've added the songs to my computer library at work. However, even though I have the playlist set on shuffle, I hear "Marching Bands of Manhattan" over and over and over....it almost seems like every third song. Because it's such a beautiful song, I would normally never complain, but the verses above hit a little too close to home.
As my heart rips open for the umpteenth time in less than a year, I can't feel it anymore. I'm numb. Self-protection, perhaps, but not really a good sign...when I cut myself off from emotion, it means all emotion. I lived this way for years in the past, and though I enjoyed the freedom at the time, I'm at a point in life now where there are positive feelings/emotions available, and I find myself throwing them away.