Don't be afraid to bring me flowers....

You Are a Tulip

You have a wild, experimental side that craves change.You often switch jobs and men, always looking for something better.But deep down, you're also very well grounded and content.And you will come to know that the life you live is already ideal.

What Flower Are You?

Don't know why anyone would still be reading, but....

To get me started on catching things up (since I've become a mySpace addict and can't seem to get over to this blog often enough)...I'll share this with you:

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves. You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't? You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky. In fights, you speak your mind and don't hold back. You know you're right, and you can get quite angry about it. Break-ups can be painful for you, but you never show it. You hold your head high.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

All of that being said, the Hub (from now on B) and I are divorcing.

Things have been crazy. Things have been stressful. B and I have learned more about each other in the last 6 months than we have in 6 years. That being said, let me recap some of the things we recently learned about one another:
1. I have issues about having to be independent.
1a. B prefers to have a partner who needs him, a person who is okay with being dependent upon her man.
2. My friends are my family.
2a. B's family are his friends.
3. I need privacy; separate finances and expenses, and perhaps even separate living quarters. A relationship based upon want and not need.
3a. B feels that a successful marriage/relationship is one that is shared, and what's yours is mine/what's mine is yours. Everything is brought to the table equally and jointly.
4. I want to go out and get involved with life...I'm in it to get down and dirty; to do what it takes to make me feel that by the end of my (55) years, I have lived and enjoyed my life. I want to come home from a night out (at a concert or just out dancing) and be sore for the next 2 days. I'll wear my scars as my scout badges.
4a. B creates his own life. Everything is in his control, and if he can come out of this thing with having just as good a time (and for him that would be enjoying something but not coming home with a broken nose and bruises), he's going to take that option. There is no need to do anything erratic or make an ass out of yourself.
5. I am rarely serious. I'm a joker, a smartass, a cynic, and have a very twisted sense of humor to boot. If I'm going to have fun, I'm going to be laughing.
5a. B is very serious. He is wise for a man younger than I, and he broods and worries and thinks about all possible consequences of every action/decision he makes. He's a good judge of character and he can think about the future (and how to define it) beyond my general capacity of 5-or-less years.
6. Because my friends are very important to me, and I've learned some damn hard lessons in the past year about not keeping in touch with people I care for, there are going to be some times when I am not able to devote time and attention equally. My man is the one I come home to and sleep with, the only one who ultimately is getting some at the end of the day. My ideal relationship would be one that goes with the dynamic of my roller-coaster life, and perhaps may have things going on of his own, as well.
6a. B feels that his good match would be with a person who could (and would want to) give him the majority of her attention/time. They would have a lot of down time together, and they would seldom do things independently of one another. He wants more than just a warm body in the bed next to him (who he may not get to see/spend time with every day).
7. I am totally willing to be poor for the sake of being happy, and more than likely, I'll compromise on some crazy things in order to get what I want. For example, moving into a tiny little house in a town called Scranton, Kansas...for the sake of having a total house payment (loan/insurance/taxes) less than $400 a month. {I will say, though, that it is cuter than hell.} My rationale: if my total house payment is less than $400 a month, I will have lots of extra money to start saving for more tattoos, lasik, and laser hair removal, among other things. I can make any house my own, so long as it's not going to fall down around me while I'm sleeping. Put me in a place/situation, and I can almost always have a good time.
7b. B wants nice things, and he wants to be able to have the things he enjoys, but he doesn't want to compromise the bank account. To him, it's necessary to not let the checking balance get below $3-400. You should always save your money, even if you don't know what you're saving it for. He works hard at his job, whether he likes it or not, because he makes the right amount of money to allow him to live a specific lifestyle. He has standards when it comes to appearance and cleanliness, and those are pretty high.

Well, like I said, I'm only going to list a few. There are many more...issues and characteristics that he and I would both call "dealbreakers," that the other possesses. They say love is blind, and I now know what they mean. Eventually you have to get to a point where you start really knowing your mate, and you have to know what you want out of your life. If those things are not compatible, certainly your paths crossed for a reason, but perhaps are now going in separate directions. In a perfect world, I figure everyone would only fall in love with a person who they were going to be compatible with for the rest of their lives. But humans are still too primitive when it comes to emotion. We don't use our brains to dictate our choices; instead, we far too often 'think' with our hearts, hopes, emotions, and hormones, completely bypassing thought and logic and reason.
Thing is, B and I still love each other very much. That's one reason we both feel that by separating on good terms now, we're sparing ourselves what could likely turn ugly in time. People can only stomach so much resentment, tension, and disagreement, no matter how much they may love someone else (like the guy who killed his roommate over using the last of the toilet paper). We want each other to be happy, but we both want to be happy as well. It's hard to imagine what life is going to be like without him always by my side, but he needs a break and I need to be set free. He doesn't enjoy the rollercoaster; he wants a nice, quiet, private life that is both stable and comfortable.
The whole point is, we're both certain that we can't meet each other's respective needs. In a (well defined) friendship, we would be able to hold on to some of the things that we loved about one another, without having to be responsible for the dealbreakers that go with it. Ambitious, you say? I'm sure. Am I going to have nights where I cry myself to sleep? You bet. Are there going to be times I want to be hugging him instead of the dog? Absolutely. This is likely going to be one of the hardest things that either of us do, but we have so much more to look forward to if we get past this obstacle gracefully.

Until later, my friends.

Well, this is refreshing...

You Will Die at Age 55

55 Not bad, considering your super wild lifestyle Want to live longer? Try losing a few bad habits.

What Age Will You Die?

Handwriting analysis

Found this on www.handwritingwizard.com. Pretty interesting, and for the most part, pretty damn accurate.

For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space.  If the inputted data was correct Dora has left lots of white space on the left side of the paper. Dora fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion. If this is true, then Dora has  a healthy relationship to the past and is ready to move on. The right side of the page represents the future and Dora is ready and willing to get started living now and planning for the future.  Dora would like to leave the past behind and move on. Dora has  a very unusual lower zone y loop.  If the data input is correct, Dora's y or g is large and opens up to the left side of the page.  This is not a common trait, but the implications are very interesting.  As you begin to study handwriting analysis, you will learn any loop indicates imagination.  This lower loop indicates the amount of imagination Dora has regarding sex and physical things.  So, her lower zone stroke is large, so her sexual imagination is large and open.  Furthermore, because the loop is incomplete and extends to the left, this indicates a particular fascination with certain aspects of sexuality that have not been fulfilled, yet.   In a nutshell, Dora is open to some very new ideas sexually and is willing to try anything once.   Dora has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people. Dora is very self-sufficient. She is trying not to need anyone. She is capable of making it on her own. She probably wants and enjoys people, but she doesn't "need" them. She can be a loner. Dora has a temper. She uses this as a defense mechanism when she doesn't understand how to handle a situation. Temper is a hostile trait used to protect the ego. Temper can be a negative personality trait in the eyes of those around her. Dora is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect her ego when she feels hurt. She pokes people harder than she gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time. Dora is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth.  This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts.  she finds joy in anticipation and planning.  Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned.  Dora basically feels good about herself.  She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success.  She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to.  However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach".  She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals.  A good esteem is one key to a happy life.  Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average. In reference to Dora's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Dora slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project. She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Dora can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip. Dora is secretive. She has secrets which she does not wish to share with others. She intentionally conceals things about herself. She has a private side that she intends to keep that way, especially concerning certain events in her past. Dora is sensitive to criticism about her ideas and philosophies. She will sometimes worry what people will think if she tells them what she believes in. This doesn't mean she won't talk, or that she feels ashamed. It merely means she is sensitive to what others think, regarding her beliefs. Dora is moderately outgoing. Her emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, she can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. She has the ability to put herself into the other person's shoes. Dora will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes she will be happy, the next day she might be sad. She has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because she is in between. Psychology calls Dora an ambivert. She understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, she will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." She doesn't sway too far one way or the other. When convincing her to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to her. She puts herself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet she will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Dora is an expressive person. She outwardly shows her emotions. She may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story. Dora is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. She weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when she finally has to. She basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue. People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially.  According to the data input, Dora doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others. According to the inputted data, Dora has a stinger shape inside the oval of her a, d, or c. This might be hard to visualize, but if this little hooklike shape is present, then Dora has an unresolved "issue" with strong members of the opposite gender. An occasional appearance of this stroke could indicate a simple "loves a mental challenge" which can manifest in playful linguistic conversations and being attracted to a lover who isn't always available. However, if the stroke is severe, this means the individual has unresolved anger at the oppostive gender - which usually started with the person's childhood relationship with the opposite gender parent (Mom or Dad). If the writer is a woman she will be attracted to strong challenging men. If the writer is a man, he will find the woman who is "hard to get" the most attractive. In a nutshell, people with stingers in their writing tend to have challenges in their romantic relationships. For more information about this "stinger" trait, visit this webpage: http://www.myhandwriting.com/analyze/hlltrt5.html. Remember, it is only negative if the traits occurs often and is quite pronounced. An occasional stinger can be no problem.